The Main Event
Well, now you’ve done it! You’ve asked her out and she accepted. You’ve talked to her, listening carefully, and you’ve created a plan for the outing, meaning you’ve put some thought and creativity into it. You’ve called your contacts in order to confirm all the necessary pre-arrangements. You’ve got your wardrobe together. You’ve cleaned and gassed up your car. You’ve got her chocolate, wine or flowers in the refrigerator. You’ve got cash in your wallet for incidentals. You’ve made yourself ready to go on that date!
Shower or Bathe, and use deodorant — You won’t smell clean unless you are clean!
Brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash — She will appreciate your fresh breath!
Wear clean clothes (incl. socks, underwear) — When you’re well presented, you’re more confident!
Check your hair and face — Details make all the difference!
Know your itinerary, directions — If you’re a man with a plan, then know your plan!
Leave on Time! — Being late will mar even the best-planned date!
On Your Date:
The most important thing you will want to bring is a good attitude. Remember to smile often (see the power of a smile), and if she looks nice, to compliment her appearance. If she’s not ready when you arrive, you’ll understand why a gift is a good idea. If you’ve brought flowers, offer to cut them and put them in a vase for her (see cutting flowers). If you’ve brought champagne, open it and pour her a glass. That way, she won’t feel as awkward to have you waiting, and you’ll have something to do to keep you occupied.
Being a Gentleman — It’s not as complicated or elitist as it seems. Just remember ol MOM (Mind Our Manners). Open doors for her, and let her go first at everything. Pull out the chair for her. At dinner, if she gets up for any reason, stand and wait for her to exit the table. When she returns, stand again and pull out her chair, returning to your seat only after she is settled. Be engaged and be engaging. Maintain eye contact when you are speaking. Anticipate her needs. If she seems cold, offer her your jacket. If she seems displeased with her food choice, gently help resolve the issue. (see good manners)
Being Yourself — On a date, you are naturally on your best behavoir, and that’s fine, as long as you remain true to yourself. Be a more polite and thoughtful version of yourself, but don’t pretend you are something or someone you aren’t. If you prefer wine to beer, say so, though you should keep an open mind to new experiences. Be honest with her about who you are and what you like.
This above all: don’t start out doing something you don’t intend to continue. If you bring flowers and candy in the early stages of dating, you shouldn’t just stop after you’ve won her over. If you can’t afford to take her out to fancy restaurants, don’t start out by taking her to fancy restaurants. Women appreciate honesty and consistency. There’s a saying that goes, “Whatever you did to win her heart, you will have to keep doing it to keep her heart.”
Being Her Date — During the time you spend together, you will want to make her feel she is the most important person in the world to you, that she is always the most beautiful woman in the room. Break the touch barrier (see proper touching). Never ogle or flirt with other women, regardless of the circumstances, even if you run into someone you know. Don’t compliment or go on about this singer or that movie star. And if you can silence your cell phone for a movie, you can definitely turn it off it for a date.
If you have planned properly, you will know where and when the date will end, though you will not exactly know “how” it will end. What’s important to remember is that you never want the date to drag on. If you do, it will be the last thing she remembers, that point at which the date stopped being fun.
As with any good production, your aim is to leave her wanting more. So, long before she starts checking her watch and telling you she’s got a long day tomorrow, you will want to thank her for sharing such a wonderful time, bring the date to a close, and tell her you would like to see her again, that is, if you would.
Remember a special moment from the date, and remind her of it. Before leaving, don’t try to plan out the next date. Simply tell her when you would like to call her, and then make sure you do just that.
A kiss is a very personal token of affection and/or a warm promise of affection to come. The first kiss is perhaps the most delicate aspect of early dating, at times an awkward moment, at others a mere check point before moving to a more intimate level. The first kiss should never be presumed (see this if you’ve never kissed a girl), and there should never be pressure from you. That special moment should just unfold naturally.
Notwithstanding, the kiss or the absence of a kiss is telling, especially as time goes on. If she likes you, she will probably kiss you. If she has bumped you down to “just a friend” status, she has probably decided not to extend affection to you. So if you’ve gone on a few dates and you’ve never gotten that first kiss, you will need to take a hard look at the practicality of a relationship with her. You improve your chances of enjoying that first kiss by making sure she has The Perfect Date, and for that, we are always here to help!