To Dance?

Most Women Love to Dance

In nature, as in literally the birds and the bees, dance is important. It is an integral part of the mating ritual (in birds), and it is used as a form of communication (in bees). It’s a good thing dance has lost any such significance in humans. Can you imagine how many un-mated, misunderstood men there would be out there if men had to dance their way into love and comprehension?

It’s the oddest thing! Study after study has shown that women find men who can dance well… sexy, and attractive — to the point of calling them “irresistible!” And yet most men over 25 show great  reluctance to take the floor and bust a move. I know why. It is because most men suck at dancing. Some realize this truth and wisely remain seated, while others flail and flap around out there, oblivious to the fact that the rest of us are laughing at or embarrassed for them.

Okay, she loves to dance, but you tried and you’ve concluded dancing isn’t your thing. One of two things is going to happen. Either she’s going to go out dancing and perform the mating ritual without you, or you’re going to tag along and watch her get her groove on with some slick bird who can do what you can’t.

If she likes to dance, it would be worth your time to learn some basic dance moves. Even hopelessly uncoordinated people can learn a few basic steps and take the floor without attracting too much notice. Like any physical activity, learning to dance will require regular practice, but keep the faith, because you will get better over time. And always, if all else fails, The Perfect Date can set you up with necessary dance lessons.

If you can’t afford to pay for a dance lesson and you are Internet savvy, is a good bet. Online, you can learn the basics of the most contemporary dances (see Learn how to hip-hop, salsa, country two-step, waltz, swing and just about any other dance you might want to learn).

No matter how much you practice, chances are you will probably never be a great dancer, but that’s all right! Just remember that you are learning to dance so you can participate in something that she enjoys. Try to stay low-key on the dance floor, and don’t believe your press. If someone compliments your moves, you don’t want it to go to your head. For most of the guys who go out there and embarrass themselves, the debacle usually happens after someone “told” them they were “good dancers.”

Keep Practicing

Dancing is a physical activity, and regular practice is necessary, as well as exercise and stretching. If you look stiff, it’s probably because you are! Plan on spending fifteen minutes a day practicing dancing (your moves) in the few days leading up to your dancing date. Stand 15-20 feet from a large mirror, put on some music, let yourself feel the rhythm, close your eyes and move. Every once in a while, glance at yourself over in the mirror. Does the guy over there  look cool, or does he look like he needs a paramedic? And if you’re huffing and puffing and sweaing after the first song, you might want to spend a little more time in the gym. If you can’t keep up with her on the dance floor, there’s little chance you will keep up with her anywhere else.

And for those who believe you might be “rhythmically challenged,” take the time to pull an honest friend aside for a private audition (your carefully-prepared dance recital). If your friend begins cringing from your first finger snap or head nod, you’ll probably have to start considering a fallback position: invite another couple along on your dancing date (a couple that includes another woman who “loves” to dance) and let the women dance until they drop. Take solace in the thought that you were part of a great dancing experience!

If you’re 55 and you want to dance hip-hop…

Then you probably couldn’t go to a lot of clubs where you wouldn’t stand out like a sore thumb, but the same applies to a 20-year-old who wants to waltz or foxtrot. If you are dating someone who is a dozen or more years older or younger than you are, you might want to find a place where you can both feel comfortable. But if you’re 55, and you really want to bust your hip-hop moves, put some music on at home, invite her over and show her what you’re working with!

What If She Can’t Dance?

Okay, most women love to dance, but that doesn’t mean that most women are good dancers either. Some are just as sucky as the men. So, what if you’re a decent dancer, but she’s an embarassment on the dance floor? What do you do? Do you tell her the honest truth?

No! You let her dance! You let her enjoy herself! You let her dance herself sweaty! Remember — dance is part of the mating ritual, so you don’t want to do anything to discourage her expression. You might, however, suggest the two of you take dance lessons together. Then let the instructor deal with her!